Good evening everything.

I am a little off today, but not in a bad way. Just... lots of new things happening to me lately. But I love that, I truly do!

When I get lost in the moment. That is a moment of clarity. Lets just listen to music together at night, at a party. Lets just listen to music together in the morning, after a walk. Lets just listen to music together immediately after something horrible happens. Lets just listen to music together.

Lets listen and hear and feel and take our time. we wont talk, but we will communicate with words. Not the words you choose, only the ones that sort of come out of you. Lets be near each other when we feel like this. Lets hang out hoping these moments happen. Lets write these songs and feel in love when we play them. Lets smile and scream.

RESTART!

RESTART!

i fucked up. bright side? RESTART!

lets focus on music.

gunna get my complotz fixed, then go crazy on supermusiclife.

Torrents + proper file management = superavailable music forever.

Also:

We all wanna transcend, right?
some want to inspire, others want to be inspired.
the leader needs the followers,
the speaker needs the crowd.
the author needs the readers,
and I need you.
I need you to be here, because I need to matter!

WOOO!

I tried, and I try. and Im smiling.

Love! what are you? who are you? are you even there? its inside me. love, that is.

Its ok.

Im in a band and im lucky. Women have loved me, and Im lucky. a few still do, and im lucky. I have bashu, and im lucky. I have music, and im lucky. everything will work out.

G

G

That feeling,

Hmm. How to put it.

Listen to "Paper Tiger" by Spoon. Now, when you get to the part where
he says "and I will be there with you when you turn out the light."

Alright. So that feeling right there, that's what im trying to say. I
love you! I love so many people and so many ideas. I chase what makes
me feel closer to that moment in that song. Selfish, sort of. Being on
stage and being with you. What does it have in common? Feeling like
you are finally understood. Like you are getting across exactly what's
in you, deep down.

Currently playing:

FIRE EMBLEM

marvel vs capcom 2 when i can get it working... and... err...

FFTA2 for ds.

YAY TACTICAL STUFF!

Also im playing a show this saturday at The Mermaid's Mug at 7pm. 5$ at the door, BE THERE!

"I want to live a life of romance and adventure!"

"There's no such thing as romance and adventure. Just desire and trouble. It's desire that gets you into trouble."

"Dwell on uncomplicated beauty: The landscape, the sun on your face. Nothing touches you. Keep the image of your death cheerfully before you at all times. Gain perspective. Seek to clarify and comfort, not to obscure or mystify. Your aspirations are pointless; your ambitions come to nothing."

Stolen from Hal Heartley

FUCK YOU RELATIVISM!

The subjectivity of everything may be factual, but it can depress, too.

I want meaning! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!

hahahahahahhaha!


yeah.


do you see what it is now?


Its nothing.

I feel like life is meaningful when you Get It when I freak out all over you and your mind.

I feel like life is meaningful when I dont have to apologize to myself. EVER.

Fucking high on life. Except its more like Manic freaking out on life. Also, im listening to the new TV on the Radio album presently. and yeah. Thinking about it all. and how it fits. and how much there is.

"there is so much space on this earth full of whatever you're looking for"

OK, but that makes it hard to even look.

IF its all there, just waiting for you, how can you even figure out what to do?

What if the answer to every question you ever asked was YES, and you knew this? HOW COULD YOU EVEN be? Love.


Love.

LOVLEOVLEOVLOELVOLVOELVLVELOLVOVLEOVELOVELOEVLVEOLVEOLVEOVLEVL

Love. Evolve. Evolve Love.

"I feel alive"


"Why's that?"


"I can't explain"


"Why not?"


"It's not something I might be able to explain properly. It's like, imagine you just saw a really great movie, but it was a strange movie also. The characters weren't easy to understand right away. Each scene taught me something about them, but it wasn't as simple as them staring at the camera and giving tired one-liners. Things like subtlety of language, things like body language, and most importantly, their faces- the way each facial feature coupled with their eyes seemed to hint at so much of their emotions- they all show so much and yet still give you space to feel connected to the characters by learning about them."

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean, but the people I know in real life are like that! People aren't like Tobey Maguire in the Spiderman movies or the countless lead characters in cookie-cutter romantic comedies- they are complex people. Sometimes they wish they had said something differently, they don't always know what's right to do or what they truly want. So why do these movies mean so much to you?"

"Music. When you combine all that- depth of emotion and sincerity- with a certain kind of music, it does something amazing that I can't explain. It's like when you are at home listening to music, and one song triggers something in your head, and you get a moment of clarity about some emotional thing you have been thinking about. That's why I feel like that, and that's why those movies do that."

Had a good day today. Went swimming! havent gone swimming in a public pool in a while. The river is still better.

Im trying to get all my friends to vote. Im trying to be less of a douchebag. Im trying to accept my intensity. I dont want to feel bad for wanting it. So i wont! there! I dont want to hurt anyone, but i cant be fully aware all the time. I want to be loved. Anyone else?

i wanna go to more concerts.

Barr

and

Richard swift

are on the horizion. i hope i can go.

Strange.

INSPIRATION< SOMETIMES CAN ACTUALLY HINDER CREATIVE OUTPUT?

what happens when you cant handle the input, so there is no output? or you can see the output in your head but it wont come out right?

ERROR ERROR OVERFLOW CODE 13246354654

I like it, i feel connected to it. Turns out, you feel the same way. The "connected to it feeling" i have is emotionally overwhelming to the point of self-damage from the inward pressure of no output. Even though you identify, we arent lovers. we arent even friends. why does the meaning compel me to love you and anyone else like you as though my desire is a weapon? HOW can we see the same thing and not simply be drawn together? I think deep down what I want is too much. I want everyone to love what I love, and to love me because of it. I turn that crazy dream down, though. I find people who already love what I love. and they arent drawn to me! a shared interest is not enough. SO! so what must i do! CREATE! MUSIC! WRITE! EXPRESS! FEEL LIKE IM WORTH SOMETHING TO SOMEONE! You know, my first "fan" who obsesses about me and my creations as much as I do, ill probably become totally compelled to love that person. so yeah.


Err...

MANIC LAUGHTER HAHAHAHAH

and i know you

and I KNOW you

and I know

you

are just around for a good time

And it feels good not to overthink it

as long as the others can play along.

if you try to hard, you dont stand a chance.

if you dont try at all, you have a small chance.

if you try sometimes, but only at the right times, you have a nice chance.

If trying at all the right times automatically feels natural, you have got it made.

if it doesnt, fake it!

or so i hear.

I dont want to fake it.

i want to be genuine. genuinely me. that means overbearing and gushy and forward and hard to take in all at once and unbelievable and moment-spoiling and way to in love for my own good.

WANTING SOMETHING

makes it less likely to happen, when it comes to girls like you, doesnt it?

and yet I find myself changing to become what I think you would like. I dont really want to do that, I want you. Its just wanting you involves that. I should really just... but ive already talked about that.

Lets run into each other at a party and make out while drunk. Then maybe If i tell you whats been running though my mind as I facebook stalk you ill seem less wierd. maybe. Is that how the kids get together? booze? i just wanna fucking make it happen. put it all out there. the whole fucking heart on sleeve clusterfuck that is my way of being. but i want it to work! i dont want to scare you away. anyway, if you read this it means im going to be ok, because you pay more attention than I thought. But is this about you? maybe.

longboarding is fun!

holy cow is it ever.

Also hey im playing FFTA2 right now and its pretty cool. hard mode didnt seem so bad but its pretty friggin hard now. anyways, seeya!

hey guys guess what I wrote a song

yeah

also work is alright.
and

err

yes here we are.

L

Love is in the world today.
Smiles and happy and PEOPLE!
You and you and him and her and I'm leaving, I feel like June in
school. In grade 12. How do people keep up with all this? The love, I
mean. I fell in love with so many people lately. And I've been away.
Away from the people I loved before. And it wasnt so bad! I love them
still and I loved new people too. I remember something I admired about
Mark. Wherever he went,he would randomly run into people with whom he
was friends with. When I was younger and I saw this, I thought so much
of him. You've met so many people, and they love you! Now wherever you
go you will likely encounter someone you love. What an amazing
feeling. I wanted that. Now I'm closer than I was 8 months ago. I love
you. You know who you are.

J

The book "free culture" by Lawrence lessig has sort of obsessed me. As
long as I read a book this inspiring every now and then, I will have
at least three times as much inspiration neccecary to devote my life
to political thoughts.

Dear Emily Haines,

You know, sometimes I like you and sometimes I dont. and for some reason I think its better that way.

Anyway, thank you for the songs I love.

J

J

I'm playing a big concert tomorrow. Err, today. You know what I mean.
I had a good day. I feel so lucky. I'm playing trumpet mostly. Singing
too. Man I feel so good its distracting right now. No matter what it
looks like, I am a man who is profoundly overwhelmed with reasons to
find his life so meaningful and beautiful and full of love that it
makes me insane.

Wish me luck at the concert! 200+ people, possibly! See ya!

C

Its like the last third of a good porno

Never seen.

Its like the compliments I fish for

Never heard

Its like meeting someone you remember you loved years ago

Never felt

Prioritizing is hard for me. I follow whatever fleeting source of intrest hits my head. I live organically like that. Some problems with this... Certian things intrest me more than others. The Internet. Gaming. (shudder) WoW. Zoning out to music. Playing Music. Watching Tv Series on my computer.

Now, compare those to some things which rarely catch my intrest:

Keeping track of names, dates, deadlines, tasks that need to be done etc.

And even when I DO remember them, I procrastinate. Right now I should be cleaning the kitchen and baking bread and cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry and practicing my songs and writing people letters and sleeping. Im not doing any of those!

Hmm.. Be right back.


alright its an hour later now.

I cleaned the bathroom and the kicthen and took care of the recycling. Still a ton of shit in my life to keep track of... but its a start.
I FEEL BETTER!

ahhaha alright. seeya.

"Just at thought

If he realy did have powers... couldnt he do something more useful with them? I would like to see him make nuclear waste disappear, i mean if i had those powers, i would seriously run around in tights being a super hero, well.. not realy, i would just never have to take out the garbage agian, or use stairs, but back to my point, if he was real, i think he would be doing more important things. 69.153.137.77 21:15, 5 June 2007 (UTC)"

-taken from the Talk:wikipedia article on Criss Angel.

LMAO

Hello!

Ironic?

when more stuff worth writing about happens in my life, i find myself to busy to write here. When I have time to write, I find myself dwelling on emperically exciting things. Result: the me you get from this blog is not quite the same as me, the me. ah well.

GOT A JOB

might get another on monday.

alright, seeya!