Safety and sanity and care and love.
Danger and confusion and alienation and fear.

Trust and anger and beauty and loneliness.
Words and words and words.

Words about words with or without music.

"I believe that you are sincere and good at heart. If you do not attain happiness, always remember that you are on the right road, and try not to leave it. Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grown purer from the very fact that of your observing it in yourself. Avoid fear, too, though fear is only the result of falsehood. Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love. Don't be too frightened even at your evil actions. I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on a stage. But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science."


The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky. Page 62.

One reason I have a hard time being around people sometimes is that I dont like not understanding. I dont really feel like I understand myself right now, I dont feel like I am the me I should be. When I am around people, I dont feel right unless I feel like I understand the situation. My paranoia is killing me.

busy day today! confirming the place I want, and Band stufff.

stressful few days ahead! ahh! work +planning my life! AQHH! + shows and writing and music and friends ahahahahahha!

so I just found this really strange 8.5 minute long ambient track I made using a keyboard... kinda cool!