I have no idea. I dont know you, and thats just the way it is, its nobody's fault. Im not supposed to know you, maybe. Im feeling like the whole thing is just "i dont know" but im trying to describe it. It doesnt hurt, hurt isnt the right word. It just makes me feel things, things that make me slow down and notice my heartbeat and things that make me feel scared and unsure. I feel like a child in the water trying to swim for the first time. I have a goal, a change to make. I dont know if im doing it, but I want to look around, and at you and whatever, and just let it be. I wasnt born passive or calm, I think, but after a while I finally tried really hard at stepping back, and letting things happen however you or anyone else wanted them to happen. I was so used to trying to exercise control over situations, so used to monitoring how people react when I do things, and acting in order to make things happen, all that shit. But for once I tried, really REALLY tried, to step back and let things turn out however they would have. Not so that I could get what I want without controlling people, not that at all; just stepping back and really really being ok with anything that comes, even if its not what I thought I wanted, or if it hurts. So here I am, feeling... feeling. Just affected, really affected.

calm down jesse

ahhhhhh

hands shaking right now

Elegance and Eloquence,
teach me to take these pure and simple ideas
and make them beautiful.

I love you. I love you! I love! Love!

Living is great. Loving is great! Trying feels good. RECORDING IS DONE! Now just mmixing and mastering, then WE HAVE A CD! then back to the studio for full lps.

OH WOW IM A MUSICIAN GUYS! A REAL ONE! JUST LIKE I WANTED TO BE A WHILE BACK!
AAHHAAH

Recorded today, have some videos to upload and things.


If its dark and you cant feel around at all, and you are how you feel and what you hear is what matters to you, where are the sounds coming from?

Im going to someday write a guide on how not stop whatever was in your pockets from falling out when you go to pick up an article of clothing off the floor in the dark.