I have an ear infection today. I dont know exactly if this is due to me being indoors all day, how i'm sleeping, what I eat, or what have you, but my ear hurts. Its not exactly enough to warrant painkillers or going to a doctor, its just this quiet thumping feeling that reminds me every now and then, "hey, this part of your body isn't doing so well". This led me to googling "tinnitus", a condition where your ears are ringing. Sometimes this happens to me, ill be standing around and suddenly I get this faint ringing sound in my ear that gets louder, making other sounds quieter by comparison. And then it's gone, and I'm fine again. Don't know where it came from, don't know what makes it go away. I haven't written any sort of music or words or anything creative for a while now. I've been trying to determine whether or not I'm depressed. Do depressed people always know they are depressed? What if this is just how life is now? Things aren't necessarily worse than they have been, I mean some things have gone bad, but about as many things are bad as have ever been. Lately things have just seemed... distant. Things which would have grabbed me and shook me seem to pass right through me. I can't explain whether this is a positive or negative feeling, its just... different. I can't even say for sure it's LESS feeling! Its just like that ringing in my ears. Once in a while, everything just sort of fades away. There are probably good things I can make of this, though. Maybe it gives perspective. Here are some questions I've been wondering about lately:
-How do you know when you should stop being friends with someone?
-What makes some activities fulfilling and other activities less so?
-Why is it so hard to do basic tasks sometimes, like clean the house or keep up with bills?
-Where does motivation come from?
Anyway, there it is. I guess I wrote something :)
