Ok this is the first blog post that is actually a blog post in a while. Lets take some inventory, shall we? Who reads this blog? Basically noone, I think. Do I mind? Sometimes, sometimes not. What have I been doing lately? Well, in midmay I got on a bus and rode it for days until I get to my dad's house in North Carolina, and I spent some time with him. Then I spent sometime with some other family in Alabama, then I spent some time with some other family in South Carolina. Then I got an a bus and rode it for days until I got to my friend Shauna's house. Then I spent some time there, and now im in a hotel room, on the way back to canada, three months later. Those are the dry details. What did it feel like?

I dont even know!

Ahh. What I do know is that my mind has been dwelling on a few things while ive been gone. Its like I can see a version of myself I want to be clearly, and I am trying to reach out to it. but seeing it and feeling like I cant get there hurts. It hurts really bad! I cant use certain details out of respect for certain people, but ive been having a tough time lately. I feel sad but not hopeless. what does it mean to be sad but not hopeless? It means that life basically sucks and is difficult but I have no intention of giving up.

Its kind of like this
"
I would like to be relentless
but you would think it strange
that i can close my eyes like that
and dive into your face

I think about you often
what more is there to say, but
I think about you often
among the fleeting days


"


Fuck I dont know. I need to be surrounded by passionate people.