see? this shit aint new. Frank Zappa, motherfucker.

Try therefore.

Add the word "therefore" to any statement you make that is defeatist or negative.

This is a problem that is caused by this and it makes me feel like this.

Those words can really hurt you if you just let it sit.

Try therefore!

This is a problem that is caused by this and it makes me feel like this. Therefore...

It leads your mind to look for an action. Something. ANYTHING. Then you start to feel better.

Ask yourself:

Am I respecting myself?

Am I fulfilling my desires?

Am I loving myself?

Ask yourself this before a decision, and I promise you will feel better about it.

"You like it cause its trendy."

"No, that would be dumb, because it wouldn't have anything to do with its own merit, it would be a choice based on wanting to fit in with something"

"Well, then you like it because you think it makes you different/unique/special to be the kind of person to like this"

"No, that would be dumb, because I want to have a personality that I discover through the experiences and emotions evoked from occurrences in life. I don't want the reverse; that I would feel forced to identify with something because my personality "should".

"Well then why do you like it?"

"I just do! I experience it and for what it is, whatever THAT is, I feel good"

Purity

Everything I do seems to distance me from it.

Music is some sort of flawed tribute to silence.

But despite how negative I describe it, it feels good. Real good. its just interesting to distill and realize that a blank canvas, silence, the ocean, and stars all scream at you how there IS purity, and no, you cant have it.

By the way...

I know the stars aren't blank, but somehow they feel as pure as emptiness. I cant really explain. Something about the subtlety and complexity, I suppose.

And when I say ocean, I mean the way endless waves look and feel. A surface in a state of constant uniform and chaotic flux is pure too.

I will worship these things, and I will never attain them. and in my fascination, I will create things. and I will feel better for it.

The show? great. My life? Confusing. I feel like i am going to get caught soon. Im not a horrible person.

It was a good show.