I played probably my best show yet this evening.

All artists are con artists

today was a school day. I had 2 exams and 3 classes. ahh.. I am holding on, but barely.

Thanksgiving is a project where a guy sings and makes music. He is quiet and sincere, and I like him!

My mind is wandering, and suddenly im filled with a warm feeling.

The feeling is... hmm.

It feels like Im filled with a calm understanding of some big thing, like a way of being, or the connections between a bunch of things.

I wonder how many artistic endeavors are attempts at creating something that instills the listener/viewer with that feeling?

Gearing up for some crazy stuff. school is a monster which I shall slay. Music is a woman which I shall lay. cooking and cleaning is domestic stuff, which is ok. and my life is just fine this way!

my values are fighting each other this evening.
In this corner, we have Integrety.

Integrety likes long walks on the beach and reflecting to make sure that my actions "feel right", reflect who I am at my core. Integrety also helps me find out where that core is through my emotions of "that feels right" and "that doesnt feel right"

And in this corner, we have Kindness.

Kindness likes to be happy, and make other people happy. Kindness will sacrifice its own happiness if it benefits people it cares about, and/or for the group as a whole. Kindness analyzes social situations, tells me which action is least likely to make people feel bad, and tells me to do that.

ROUND ONE, FIGHT!

busy busy busy

shows and school and practice and trips.

hey cool kids

please dont overlook us

we dont look as happy

and we arent as easy to love

but please dont overlook us

hey cool kids

we know how it feels

and when your nice faces say the words about the times it felt like that

and how it seperates you guys in a nice way

well, we feel that too

we just cant put on the nice face and say it like you.

so, cool kids,

please dont overlook us

we have so much in common!

ive got so many questions

like

why did you stop talking to me when I stopped talking to you?

didnt you know that I only stopped initiating the conversation because I wanted YOU to come to ME?

and what does it mean that you wouldnt come to me if I stopped coming to you?

where does motivation come from? what affects it? what kind of people motivate me?

what kind of people take away my motivation? which kind am I to you?

where do moods come from? why do bad moods come at the least convienient times?

why am I happy when being sad makes more sense?

why am I sad when being happy would make things go so much more smoothly?

why arent I more productive?

why am I capable of imagining intense, dramatic, nervous energy-creating experiences?

woke up

talk with bashu

poster stuff for upcoming show

watch Where The Wild Things Are

hang with seth, brandon, joeann

see a cool show at the cambie

have good meetings with people

come home

sleep

I figgered I havent done a shameless plug in a while.

if you are at my blog, you will notice a thingy at the left. thats one of the bands im in! if you are on, feel free to click away and become a fan. I have pictures, videos, and mp3s streaming there! while you are at it, feel free to search "The Detective Collective" on facebook. thats another band that im in. you might like it!

aaannnd if you are on facebook reading this, and would like to hear some music I play on, just search Plastic Chair Explosion or "The Detective Collective"

Ok, shameless plug done.

I thought the music made me who I am for a while, that it shaped me. now im not so sure. maybe I always was me, and ive sort of drifted towards music that fits the me I already am subconsiously?

(lifted from wikipedia)

Content-analysis studies have identified common reported themes in dreams. These include: situations relating to school (adolescents), being chased or attacked, running slowly in place, falling, arriving too late, a person alive in reality dead in the dream, a person who is dead in real life alive in the dream, teeth falling out, flying, future events such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc. (with different scenarios), past events in your life (with different scenarios) embarrassing moments, falling in love with random people, failing an examination, not being able to move or focus vision, car accidents, being accused of a crime you didn't commit, suddenly finding yourself naked, going to the toilet, losing your car, not knowing where you are and many more[

i was born with intellect

but my real challenge in life is to not let that make me an asshole who doesn't notice all the other important things.

NEW SONG

Ok so I wrote a punk song for the DC. its going to be radically different from what you are used to hearing from us... and really fun to play! what follows is the song map.

Intro
A
B
C
D

A
B
C
D
E

C
D
C

A:
My connection to the divine is unstable

So I gotta be careful

My connection to the sublime is unstable

Lemme wiggle that cord.

B:
Its like im atat this great party

and everyones in on a joke

except me (laughing in the background)

C:
did anyone ever tell you that the cake was made of sawdust

cause no one ever told me that this cake is made of sawdust

now do you know what its like to have your insides on the outside

well Ill tell you what its like to have your insides on the outside

its like...

D:
(Instrumental, yelling in the background)

E:
(Instrumental, crazy laughter in the background)

4th spatial dimension:



SOO COOL

My connection to the divine is unstable

So I gotta be careful

My connection to the sublime is unstable

Lemme wiggle that cord.

I wonder about people who dont comprimise on their dreams. What happens to those people?

I think I know of a few people who didnt compromise a vision they had when they it. They ended up getting famous and sucessful in spite of the fact that commercial appeal was never a factor in what kind of art they made. Lou Reed and Frank Zappa come to mind.

Whats it like to be someone on a mission like that? I feel like most people who persure an idea like he did could never be famous, let alone support themselves. And yet, he DID get famous. what quality do some people have that makes THEIR pure, unedited expression valuable? Im sure there are a ton of people who create without consiously trying to make their art accessible. Why do some of them get recognised, while others dont? what affects it? and, why?

My big question is what separates a great artist who never considered commercial appeal and a nobody who never considered commercial appeal? does there exist a real, tangible way to measure the value of art, seperate from popularity?

River and Girl (first poem ive done in a while)

Sitting, noticing, existing, being, living.

As people around me speak and move, im there, in slow motion.

Im in a Cmaj7 chord, drifing across a river.

I am a deep, slow river.

I no longer feel frustrated or upset with the logs and empty beer cans drifting across my back.

They spin and turn and knock into each other. They are busy chasing things.

Sometimes I enter a piece of driftwood and pretend I am one of them

Slipping downstream, spinning and bobbing up and down.

It makes me dizzy, so I look around, and I see someone sitting on the rocks.

Her eyes drift lazily along the river. She notices little things, bits and pieces as they float along.

I am the river again now, I play her my music.

My music is swift and loud notes combining to make something soft and steady.

She lowers her arm slowly into the river, enjoying the cool feeling.

I feel connected to her, she feels connected to me.

My crashing rythm enters her heart.

Her heart starts to beat in time my current, We are steady and strong.

Alright, 5 cool things that have happened in the last 2 months for me.

1. Finished my first studio-quality recordings, on a compilation. This was cool because to me its a big step for me as a musician

2. Went to a party full of metalheads, met an old friend of mine who I hadnt seen in a while and who had subsequently become a white supremacist, and eventually convinced him he doesnt have to be racist.

3. Had some very intense, very short-lived romances. Good memories!

4. Started college! love college. figgin love spending 8 hrs a day expanding my mind instead of 8 hrs a day washing dishes.

5. Met my grandmother for the first time, had a great visit with her. :D

Alright guys, the PCE has a big show coming up November 7th! itll be fun. its at The Vault, a coffeeshop in nanaimo. Whoo!

also, college life is good life.

Ok, so on one side, they are concerned, and want to help.
same for the other side.

and they both claim that the other side is lying.
hm.
why is it that people assume that there is a simple, one-word answer to lifes problems?

The right is concerned that we are losing our morality. They want us to care about each other more.
They cite the problem's source as the odd ones: people without families, people who arent patriotic, people without religion. They dont have the neccicary ingredients for morality (family, nationalism, religion). Their solution is focusing on your family, your religion, your nation. Then we will care about each other more.

The left is concerned about our morality, too. They also want us to care about each other more.
They cite the problem's source as the normal ones: white, protestant, 2.5 child-having families who havent been exposed to diversity, and can judge safely those who they dont understand. Their solution is tolerance, respect, political correctness, and loving those who are different.

All i see here is two groups who sincerely care about people, and want to help.

LISTEN TO FRANK ZAPPA!

his stuff... wow. aahhhh

I am not afraid of your sin, I am not afraid of you.
I do not wonder if you are lying when you speak to me.
I am here because I want to be here, and thats all you need to know right now.
I dont need you to become anything, I dont need you to turn into something I think is good.
You are on a journey, and it will unfold however it unfolds. Im here. Ill be there for you, but only if its right to do so.

Everyone deserves to be happy, and you deserve to be loved exactly as much as you are capable of living another person :)