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thats how im feeling.

D

I like smelly smart people

Wait. Thats not what I meant.
I think I'm trying to say that I like people who are warm and friendly
to anyone, and never mocking or cruel. I like when people dont take
fashion too seriously. I like when someone looks strange and
unassuming and not typically beautiful. They can even smell funny. I
like this because these people tend to be kind, curious, funny,
comfortable with themselves, and non-judgemental.

Yeah.

I'm hungry, hungover
You're an angel
I'm comin' over
But please don't laugh, don't say that it's okay
You're a plane crash
Blister, fever
You're a liar, a believer
But please don't laugh, don't say that it's okay

I cut your name from your mother's heart
I won't be late and i won't be caught
I try not to be someone to love
Didn't mean to bleed, but it's so damn tough
I played your heart, but i broke two strings
Jesus christ you're a lovely thing

Please remember to regret it
Don't be sorry, just forget it
And please don't laugh if i can't say your name
You're a plane crash with a pipedream
Ruby tuesday with a broke wing
And please don't cry
Like buildings in america

I cut your name from your mother's heart
I won't be late and i won't be caught
I try not to be someone to love
Didn't mean to bleed but it's so damn tough
I played your heart but i broke two strings
Jesus christ you're a lovely thing

I messed it up
I blew a kiss
And caught your breath
To see you ?

I cut your name from your mother's heart
I won't be late and i won't be caught
I'll try not to be someone to love
I didn't mean to bleed. it's so damn tough
I played your heart but i broke two strings
Jesus christ you're a lovely thing
Jesus christ you're a lovely thing

1 Mango
2 Bananas
A handful of grapes
1 cup milk
1 cup peach-flavoured yogurt
I square semi-sweet baker's chocolate
2 tbsp Sugar

My Smoothie concoction today. Its pretty good! I love experimenting with food. Smoothies are PERFECT for just throwing shit together and trying stuff out.

You are a lightning bolt. an explosion. I have no idea what to think of you. I cant predict you. I dont "get" you. sometimes, i am in shock at how well you read me. Other times, you are off. I think Im the same way at reading you. you turn me on. sexually. You turn me on in a lot of other ways too. I want to play coy with you. I want to hide a bit and tease you for once. I want to play your fucking game. I want to be bad. I dont feel safe around you, and I like it. I dont fucking know. Just let me keep seeing you. you know you want me.

When someone wants to show you something, like a picture or a song or a story or poem or whatever, and you KNOW it matters a lot to them, its such a wierd feeling when you consume it. How does that person love for it affect how YOU see it? They are soo anxious and vulnerable, bringing forth something they care about, wanting you to care about it too, and deathly scared of the world in your head and how it will react to something in the world of that person's head. anyway, cool stuff.

Blargh

Sit back and let shit happen

Worry Less

If you like where its going, go with the flow.

Give in

let go

Think Less

Therefore Worry less.

Relax.

Thank you for giving me the chance to try out these new things.

I
the girl next to me at the airport was reading a book. I knew her life
was a story I wasnt in a position to learn about, so I just wrote down
the name of the book. I'm becoming better at seeing how everything and
everyone around me is beautiful and inspiring and complex.

G

I feel good. I'm sorry its been a while, my dad died and I met a girl.
Wow. Such a wierd statement. Anyway, I hung with bashu and basically
had the kind of days that make me feel good. Back to katimavik in the
soo, then 2 weeks later, back home! Wow. the airport has a beautiful
woman, and one I find interesting. I prefer the interesting one.

Today I met a vietnamese woman with beautiful feet.

it just hit me yesterday, so I dont have much to say yet. I'm reflecting.

Well darn my socks.

Justice makes me want to just dance. JUST DANCE

also local dancefiends like Dreamboat (who I actually saw! awesome!)
yeah.

Im learning so much about myself these days. I feel connected to the world right now, in a really positive way. Ive recently been given the opportunity to follow my desire, and Ive never felt better. I played a show last night! I think i did a good job. someday im going to play "I woke up today" by Port O'brien.

alright.

Alright!

LONG WEEKEND!

72 HR BREAK!

No FUCKIN KATIMAVIK for 3 days.

alright.

Top Five Movies:

1. A Fistful of Dynamite (Sergio Leone)
2. Once Upon A Time In The West (Sergio Leone)
3. Howl's Moving Castle (Hayao Miyazaki)
4. Citizen Kane (Orsen Wells)
5. Drunken Master (original 1978 version) (Yuen Woo-ping)

What does failing sound like?
Can I ever fail properly?
What if everyones so goddamn open-minded that no one can fail?
Fuck that! Take your little feeling, and the opinion that it comes
with, and stop thinking its wrong to have it. Tell me! you can tell me
what you think without worrying about its subjectivity. If you know
its subjective, and, I know its subjective, and I KNOW you know, then
we are cool. I swear. I just wanna know you are a real person, say
something to make you a person :)

I found this poem while browsing through the YMCA's archives.

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
In its brief course lie all
The realities and truth of existence
The joy of growth
The splendor of action
The glory of power.

For yesterday is but a memory
And tomorrow is only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

Things about people I sometimes dislike

Genuienly thinking puns are clever
Selfishness
Self-pity
Not trusting people
Being uncomfortable with yourself
Hiding from parts of your mind which you are afraid of
Fear in general, actually.
Fashon as a way to hide yourself among a cultural group (even so-
called "counterculture" groups")
A lack of creativity
A lack of acceptance of others
Spurning knowledge as unneccicary
Hating those to whom you feel inferior... Envy
Blame shifting
Disregarding how a person feels for the sake of winning an argument
Judging, verbally and/or physically abusing, or otherwise giving a
hard time to people you haven't gotten to know, eg strangers.

Blog blog blog.

Blog blog blog.

Bloggy blog blog

im going crazy
for reals
i think i might just grab my guitar and be a hobo
i think if I dont become a crazy musician i will just be a crazy person
listening to music i like drives me crazy. like actually running around screaming punching things stupid smiles heart pounding explodingface crazy. I dont know how much more of this feeling I can handle before I just fully and completely throw my life away for some fucking noises. fucking sounds? FUCKING sounds just like flying all over the place through my head. it wayy more work that it looks; when you listen to it it doesnt sound like its a lot of work BUT IT IS FUCK! fuCK! FUKCUFKUCKUFKUCKUFKUCKFUU i am going to play shows and go crazy. because If i go crazy on stage and make it musical its not a bad crazy, its an awesome crazy. and im crazy anyway so FUCK IT WHATEVER. maybe you are crazy too? I know bashu is. hey! how are you doing? I can believe you managed to climb that wierd boat thing. I cant belive i was drunk. at a bonfire. that was crazy. I feel like i could have spent like 4 hours with every single person at that bonfire seperately, just hanging out. i felt soo crazyhyperWOOO!!!! does anyone else get soo caught up in a feeling that they have to explode forever??!?!?!? i want anyone to have any idea what im talking about!
FUCK!

OK THAT WAS RANDOM RAMBLING

I want to be a leader. Why?
Because I don't know how to follow.

Heart vs mind?
True love seems like being able to throw your life at somethig you love.

Its easier to do that the less you know about people and places and
reasons.

This might explain why I could never stay. I'm in love with a concept
and a feeling. I'll chase this feeling ss far as it gets me. How
"Faceoftheearth[clingingonto]" by 65daysofstatic made me feel a second
ago. I felt great and lonely and peaceful and restless. Overall, I'm
just spurned to keep writing, never stop. I don't have any idea where
I'm going with this...

These hands could have stopped you

Maybe?

These hands along with these arms could have brought you back.

This poem doesn't mean anything until people I don't understand give
it meaning.

Those times I spoke wrong, I guess I forgot who I was and who you were
and what that meant.

What DOES it mean?

If the silence scares me, I'll ask the questions no one can really
answer. Not quite rhetorical, just really big and vauge and subjective.

I like writing. I truly do! I like writing it down for you to see. I
like exposing everything and every part of me to anyone at all.

Hahahahahah!

I am an open-source human being.
I dare you to fuck around with my code, work on me until I am good as
gnu.

(total number of puns in this blog to date: 2)

(total number of intentional puns in this blog: 1)

About 30 seconds on a bus, and I swear I made a girl feel really good,
using only my eyes.

Here's hoping I'll say something if I see her again :)

Popular song I dont really like

+

The Hood Internet's Remix Skillz

=

Song I like!

also, im getting into free jazz.

Seeya!

looking for reason where there is none is niether beautiful or hopeless.
its just something you do.

Ok, so someone died. They weren't mean to die, you say? sure, ill follow you. I mean, they weren't meant to die any more than you are meant to live.

It wasn't their time yet.

Shes in a better place now.

I bet hes looking down on us, smiling.

Isnt it crazy how many assumptions and beliefs and illogical ideas we can fit into one sentence? Shit. Death should be easier to understand.

Cause, generally when things are easy to figure out, we dont muddle it up with make believe.