And one more, right here.

Also, please listen to Dressed Up For The Letdown, by Richard Swift. the whole album is really really well done.


"BARR: "Context Ender"

Ever talk to someone you dont know? I ended up having an amazing conversation. He wasn't weirded out by having someone he didn't know open up to him on the spot. He just went with it, and it worked.

Listening to BARR can have that effect on you. BARR is the moniker for Brendan Fowler, a musician/performance artist/slam poet/whatever from L.A. Brendan went to high school (and subsequently came on tour ) with members of Animal Collective, and is a regular at The Smell, along with No Age and Xiu Xiu.I don't really know how to review this song. My first instinct is to tell you to go listen to it yourself, because he reviews it within the song, quite literally.

The first 50 seconds of the song are sparse; slow, simple, heavy piano, carefully moving along Brendan's urgent whispering:

i dont even know how to hear it; how to listen
im not even sure what it sounds like i mean
i know it has a sound it sounds like something
im just not sure what
what does it look like

Ok. Self-referential. Where is he going with this? Brendan doesn't sing, but doesn't quite rap. He rants exactly what he thinks, a seemingly raw stream-of-consciousness style that can embarrass the listener. Then the beat comes in. The piano begins to march, incessant and lingering on a single repeated note while the bass echoes the opening piano. The drums add some variety, enough to fill out Brendans voice. As the song continues, its clear that the words are the focus of BARR, hes throwing his mind at you, talking about circumstances and context; how they define you. The beauty of this song may also grate: he packs more philosophical meaning per-second in this track than a conventional musician could, at the cost of subtlety. There is no ambiguity about this song, these words, this message. Sometimes it feels like you are reading an interview with Brendan about existentialism rather than hearing a song, and he knows it. This is why this song is so hard to describe, let alone evaluate. Like he says:

but you only liked it cause you heard it with him
and the speakers sounded perfect
and you were over the other stuff

So, yeah. check it out for yourself."

Heres a review of a song I submitted to a website as a way to apply to be a critic there.

Didnt really work out, but hey, here was what I wrote.

"Colourbook: “Spout/Bec”

What do you want to know about Colourbook? They are from Victoria, BC. They worked full-time, and play shows until they had enough money to tour. Then they toured, and worked their asses off playing for anyone and everyone they could get to in Canada. Now they have a nice sized fanbase and find themselves opening for Eric’s Trip somewhere in Ontario. For you non-Canadians out there, this is a big deal. Anyway, these guys are in the embryo stage of “breaking out”- I expect more and more people to mindlessly name-drop them as the months go on, for better or worse. But lets get to the song, shall we?

They know how to play rock guitar. Its fast and crunchy. They know how to make bass matter. Its got a counter-melody, not a bass-line (trust me, there is a difference). They make use of shakers, tin cans, and the occasional drumset. They wail, and they sing. Add some horns here and there. Ok, so what? Well, they know how to mix them!

As the song starts, we get some shakers and a muted guitar part. The bass comes in carefully, slowly, quietly. The wailing starts, and after a few seconds you realize what you are getting into. The lead singer sounds like someone else, but you don’t care who. The guitars are sailing off like hyperactive chainsaws, if chainsaws could be really harmonic AND aggressive. The shakers and the hi-hat and the random shit they found lying around mix together with the guitar to make something you haven’t heard before. Or maybe you have, and you just don’t care for the duration of the song. They pick you up, they shake you around, and then they put you down. That’s where Spout ends. Next we get about 50 seconds of the band laughing and talking to each other, and we think it’s over. We hear a guitar fumbling around, and you can almost imagine him sitting on a couch, goofing around. Then the drums catch on, and you realize this is going somewhere. Then… Holy Shit! Two for one! Bec is more melodic, with the singer (Aaron Bergunder, if you are curious) letting his singing come to the front for a while. Add a cathartic, guitar-and-trumpet led fanfare, slowing down, leading us towards a tired smile and a feeling of contentedness.

I don’t usually dance, but I would dance to this. I think this song is a pretty great anthem; im expecting it to be kind of a big deal when this whole Colourbook thing catches on."

hmm. man, you loval fans deserve better. maybe ill pre-write some posts for this weekend. Yeah. that sounds cool. Ill do that. I hope i have a good weekend... im seeing my cousin for the first time in a while.

Oh and

I saw Tropic Thunder. I say it was alright, never really hit hard, but didnt suck that horribly either.

ok, im going to be gone this weekend. im going to something, erm. something worth going to. also, im working hard at finding a job, it seems to be looking up. also... hmm. yeah. life is alright. mmhm ayup. oh and the band! we are starting to look at some songs I wrote, which is pretty cool! yeah, and another band from the area just got a really, REALLY sweet deal playing shows. more on that later.

Love!

alright so a busy week we got here. Things and things and things. And things. and money! yes. maybe..? i dont know. I liked the show; it was really fun. Now what? not sure.

Im not doing very good at daily posts lately, sorry.

Oh hey! The DC (Thats me and my friends) are playing a show tomorrow at the Arts Council tomorrow. BE THERE!

Yeah!

WOO!

alright.


Also... Love

I dont know if this is something I can put words to, but here we go.

*cracks knuckles*

Sometimes I think that when you feel in love, or nostalgic for love, or just wishing you were in love so bad that you feel an emotion specific to wishing for it... I think it all could be related to when you were younger. or maybe several times. What Im talking about are the times between the ages of 13-17 or so when you get caught up in some kind of wobbly romance. The first one who liked you back. How did it feel the first time you cared about someone that much, and they cared right back? It seemed like the whole world then. Your world was smaller, other people controlled big chunks, so all you paid attention to was your friends, your daily life, and all the things affecting you. School. Hanging out. Parties. How to spend the freedom you had. All organized. Then SMASH what does it feel like? What is this? You had so many things planned out. So much was planned. You knew you would be here at this time this year and there at that time next year. Maybe that makes us yearn for a sort of freedom, or chaos. And your first love does that. You are faced with new feelings, ones that shake around and change what you thought mattered to you. That sense of wonder you get experiencing things for the first time is something sacred. You think and think and hope and wish and you focus your mind like a laser beam, because there are less things to worry about. So the love has so much passion.

I wanna tap into that. That's why I hunt for songs that make me feel like that. Right now? All The Lights Went Out by Marcy Playground.

Alright.

LOGICAL ARGUMENT

Baby, ive got so much going for me. Look at these words, see how they fit. Doesnt it seem like they sound good? Ive laid it all out. this therefore this therefore this. How can you not love me? it makes so much SENSE.

EMOTIONAL ARGUMENT
Baby, listen to this song. it makes me think about you.

(the emotional argument is really hard to put into words, because its not about the words. Its body language and music and touching, and also the way you say things, the tone of your voice, your eyes and where they are pointed, your facial muscles etc. hazy things; misinterpretable things, but also very very powerful things.

"It Moves"

By bodies of water.

What else is there to say?

Oh, I know. what is it exactly? that added feeling you get when you hear a song that you have seen performed live. Or one where you have met the band. what does it do to your impression of the song? something to think about.

Alright so what next?
Get a job!!!!

also...

hmm. some small changes. my comp is in my room now. Its nice. Im still in a band. we still play shows. some commitment is nice sometimes. Hmm.

Without limitations
Without desire
Without understanding

I don't understand the desire to live without limitations. But there really aren't many. So we are responsible for how we feel. Assert, but don't hurt. Right? I don't know. Who chooses which is meaningful? How does popular opinion measure against one person who touches you personally?

And what about not liking something? What happens when you think something is useless, pointless, annoying, stupid? What do you do when you are sick of something? How does being yourself stack up against treating people well? Master your own mind and you will be free.

I wish I could control what my mind has to deal with. Sounds, words, things you see- you don't control them, so they can hurt you. offend you. annoy you. make you angry, confused. Angry mostly, for me.

I dont know...

Man its not easy, and im a little surprised I thought it would be. I cant really tell much right now, but I know i am stressed and angry and hurt and sad and scared. but right this instant, I feel like im accomplishing something worthwhile. More info as I figger out what the hell is going on

see? this shit aint new. Frank Zappa, motherfucker.

Try therefore.

Add the word "therefore" to any statement you make that is defeatist or negative.

This is a problem that is caused by this and it makes me feel like this.

Those words can really hurt you if you just let it sit.

Try therefore!

This is a problem that is caused by this and it makes me feel like this. Therefore...

It leads your mind to look for an action. Something. ANYTHING. Then you start to feel better.

Ask yourself:

Am I respecting myself?

Am I fulfilling my desires?

Am I loving myself?

Ask yourself this before a decision, and I promise you will feel better about it.

"You like it cause its trendy."

"No, that would be dumb, because it wouldn't have anything to do with its own merit, it would be a choice based on wanting to fit in with something"

"Well, then you like it because you think it makes you different/unique/special to be the kind of person to like this"

"No, that would be dumb, because I want to have a personality that I discover through the experiences and emotions evoked from occurrences in life. I don't want the reverse; that I would feel forced to identify with something because my personality "should".

"Well then why do you like it?"

"I just do! I experience it and for what it is, whatever THAT is, I feel good"

Purity

Everything I do seems to distance me from it.

Music is some sort of flawed tribute to silence.

But despite how negative I describe it, it feels good. Real good. its just interesting to distill and realize that a blank canvas, silence, the ocean, and stars all scream at you how there IS purity, and no, you cant have it.

By the way...

I know the stars aren't blank, but somehow they feel as pure as emptiness. I cant really explain. Something about the subtlety and complexity, I suppose.

And when I say ocean, I mean the way endless waves look and feel. A surface in a state of constant uniform and chaotic flux is pure too.

I will worship these things, and I will never attain them. and in my fascination, I will create things. and I will feel better for it.

The show? great. My life? Confusing. I feel like i am going to get caught soon. Im not a horrible person.

It was a good show.

BIG show tomorrow. and Im singing! singing My Moon My Man of all things.

It feels so good

To step back

and wash some goddamn dishes.

It feels so right

To stop playng Warcraft 3

and clean my computer desk.

It seems so cool

To take a walk outside.

And yes, I feel better

Once ive played a little music.

And after a little music, it leads to a little more.

Then my hands hurt. Then my lips hurt. Then my throat hurts. Then I listen to some music, and maybe love some people. Then I feel better. Too many voices, too many thoughts, too many people saying to many things at too much volume, and I cant handle it sometimes! I wish the perfect person was here, so I could relax.

Hey!

don't lose sight?

Dont hide?

I like you better when you treat me nice.

Thats because Im a human, and thats what we do!

selfish?fuck yea!

I dont know.

Fuck! I missed band practice! ill come later, but still. fuck!

anyway im job hunting right now, pestering one place for a job, or at least comfirmation of something.

seeya!

PS the katimavik kids in pville are alright.

PPS listen to beirut more.

Watching more Hal Heartley movies now...

In "Trust", its suggested that love is a combination of respect, admiration, and trust. Im not saying I agree, but i like to think about it.

wont you come outside


Kurt Vonnegut

By Born Ruffians.

Funny, When I had heard this song for the first time, I had never heard of the man. Ive read a few of his books, and I feel profoundly lucky to have. Its crazy... I could talk about this song as a link to this author, and how amazing that is, or the song itself, and how much I love it. they are connected... I think. anyway, I feel compelled to do something with it, mabye mix it or something. especially the last 2 minutes or so.

yeah.

also, things are changing, which is always nice. I feel fluid. I have more things to worry about, but I find myself actually worrying less overall. Being careless means being in love more. Love in that I can live and not worry. loops.