I dont know if this is something I can put words to, but here we go.

*cracks knuckles*

Sometimes I think that when you feel in love, or nostalgic for love, or just wishing you were in love so bad that you feel an emotion specific to wishing for it... I think it all could be related to when you were younger. or maybe several times. What Im talking about are the times between the ages of 13-17 or so when you get caught up in some kind of wobbly romance. The first one who liked you back. How did it feel the first time you cared about someone that much, and they cared right back? It seemed like the whole world then. Your world was smaller, other people controlled big chunks, so all you paid attention to was your friends, your daily life, and all the things affecting you. School. Hanging out. Parties. How to spend the freedom you had. All organized. Then SMASH what does it feel like? What is this? You had so many things planned out. So much was planned. You knew you would be here at this time this year and there at that time next year. Maybe that makes us yearn for a sort of freedom, or chaos. And your first love does that. You are faced with new feelings, ones that shake around and change what you thought mattered to you. That sense of wonder you get experiencing things for the first time is something sacred. You think and think and hope and wish and you focus your mind like a laser beam, because there are less things to worry about. So the love has so much passion.

I wanna tap into that. That's why I hunt for songs that make me feel like that. Right now? All The Lights Went Out by Marcy Playground.