"Police officers then reported back to their dispatch to say they were in the process of shutting the event down, but that they were letting the band finish their song first, because, (directly quoted from the officer): 'This band is sick.'"

-what happened at a Place to Bury Strangers show .
Sick!

So I love my job.

Everyone is nice to me, and I get an hour long break and 2 15 minute breaks. and I can move them around if I feel like it. and I can work on whatever I want, basically. and I can listen to music while I work. While im doing repetitive stuff (lifting, carrying, sweeping, mopping) I can just zone out to my muisc. :) Ive recorded some more guitar parts. once I have them ready ready, ill add them to the Lets Go Group. not sure exactly when or anything, but Im getting there. also, ill be taking more pictures soon.

you know that emotionally drained feeling? Is it positive or negative? it makes me want to sleep. and my brain feels sore. and I just feel stunned.

my journeys with alcohol for the first time... are interesting. while i was getting drunk at a club, I kept thinking how I would rather be just talking with someone sober without obnoxious music playing.

"I was a psychiatric nurse at the time. I just started writing stuff to kill time on summer evenings. This is why I'm always telling people who ask me what they need to do to succeed to give up, do something else. Because giving up and doing something else (nursing, for me) was exactly what eventually led me to making music that other people wanted to hear. People will complain that they don't want to wait around for lightning to strike, but why not? If you invest yourself in chance, the potential for disappointment is pretty low."

-an inspiring quote from this interview

im overloading on new music right now. I just torrented the newest Indie Rock Playlist, and A certian radio host from nanaimo with a nose piercing has a best of 2007 playlist im chewing through. its overamazing and excitexhausting.

News


gota haircut, got a volunteer job at a thrift store. its pretty cool, although not glamorous. lots of labour and stuff. 2 new kids in our house... yeah. oh! its my birthday! im nineteen now. and, im learning how to play:


'One by One' by Wilco

'Milk' by Kings of Leon

and, err.. a few more of my own songs.


The ghost didnt know what hit him until he turned around.

i have bad luck with women, and I sabotage my own social life.
(negative moment)

Wierd day.
not bad, not good, just bad and good. Im learning how to express myself I guess. Iron and Wine, Kings of Leon, Band of Horses. Go well together, i think. I want to write more music, so I will. Seeya!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cBBO_XkIbk

man. oh man.

Im soo proud of the Detective Collective right now. its amazing! and I hear theres another gig planned. dont ever give up guys! im rooting for you over here!

I noticed that when I see peoples pictures on facebook, the ones that look the least like the person are the ones that they comment as "best". oddish at least. aw crap now im thinking about pokemon.

I cant belive how lucky I was at home. Bashu's family- they are soo supportive, and not stupid.
Biting my tounge is hard sometimes. In this house, we have a person who acts like a living TV stereotype. Sheltered, whiny, constantly complaining- not very much fun. Its not really bugging me personally, but Im learning how to tolerate people without ranting at them just because of my opinions.

Hello everyone

I have had a very interesting week. I showed up in montreal, and went to an orientation camp. there were lots of people. lots of snow. went crazy carpeting, which was really cool. I felt gaurded, but I made... not quite friendships but those things that are close. I felt a disconnect, but it was ok. Then we got to the house. the house is great. its the first time Amos (the town) has had a Katimavik group, AND the house is brand new. Its nice, but its only my second day, so I cant really say much yet. Have you ever heard of the Mountain Goats? Its a band. very nice stuff. They are overwhelmingly prolific. I think im going to study this band, in my crazy way. i will listen and take my time, and learn to play the songs, until I feel like I understand them. We walk to the corner store sometimes, its nice. Katimavik wont pay for junk food, so i buy that stuff for myself. Im really excited about finding out about my work project. Also, that one week I get to not work, and be House Manager. Instead of having a volunteer job, House Managers clean the house and make the food. they also buy the food and plan the meals for the week. One more thing. Me and er... hmm. I guess I shouldnt name the other Katimavik participants. Ill make up names for them, I think. Me and Michael are in charge of Healthy Living. that means exercise. We get money, and we can spend it on stuff like that. god, I hate writing about this stuff. i mean, its important for people who dont know whats going on, but what I really want to write about is what im feeling. "Song for Lonely Giants" by the Mountain Goats. thats what im feeling right now. I think ill go learn that song. also, Im in love.

so im here. and im here. and im here and IM HERE!
er...
er...
what to say. too much. not enough. i want a special person. so i feel comfortable. heres hoping.

french! im immeresed. IMERRSION. and yeah. people! and snow. SNOW! all snow! and people! arrgh! some make me mad. not all. Im sticking it out. things are good. things are scary. i want to fall in love.

10:33 pm.

Its late. im leaving. im home, everything is packed. i fly tomorrow morning. im leaving. Im listening to Bodies of Water. Im going to meet random people for the next few days. travelling. im leaving. James gave me an amazing present. Im going to miss you all. im excited. im glad. im scared. I dont speak french! im going to fall in love. in love with a concept.

http://www.ifilm.com/episode/19360/startsWith/2823292

this man inspires me.
also, Jon stewart kicks ass. but you know that, dont you?

Bum bum...
theres a limit to your love....

ahha, I like Fiest.

Im packing packing packing and cleaning. im glad I finished work a week before I left, i would NOT have been able to prepare properly otherwise. Incidentally, I know no french. AHH!

God i hate feeling like im in a moment I will regret.

Had 2 huge all night parties in 3 days. im tired. had lots of thoughts, didnt write em down.
Its crazy, turning my mind inside out for the internet.

Got my tickets for katimavik. its Finalized.
AHH!

what is left? I am left. and by the time that last bit matters, Ill have left. Bereft of notice, warning, or ceremony, ill be gone. im not suicidal. its katimavik. although. I have done this many times before. in different ways, with different people, I have lived compartmentalized lives.

We, collectively, are an anthill. The internet leads me to soo much cool stuff, webcomics, movies, anime, music. soo much creative expression that deeply affects me, that I feel a profound connection with. but theres too fucking much! I have realized that If i wanted I could spend my whole life just CONSUMING this stuff, delving deeper and deeper into the bowels of these art forms. and I would love every minute. and I would also cease to exist in real life.

When you look at the anthill, you see a few ants, but you cant see all of it at once. too many ants moving. but if you unfocus your eyes, you can see/feel all of them at once, in an almost spiritual way.

GAS STATION NOTE #4
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

"Music is expression". Every time you express an opinion, you get further away from something, and you get closer to something else. Where am I going with this?

Usually this only applies to people you know. What about musicians, writers? They express opinions that anyone and sometimes everyone ( and rarely noone) hears. This means their opinions "move" them(percieved) WAY faster "war is scary" is a totally normal thing to hear from an average person. When an Expresser says it, he (percieved) becomes a billion different things labelling him at once. You must be Left, then. You must not care about freedom, then. Why dont you protest, you hypocrite? You dont wanna help the world.
I dont know how, but I wanna distance myself from a world that evaluates and re-evaluates everything I do until I am defined as an ever-deeper flowchart that tells me who I am. No bars, no notes. can i express myself without further labelling myself? Can I say something meaningful without, percived or otehrwise, turning, moving, or changing into something? This is stupid. I hate opinions. I like certian things, others I dont. Im so scared of being unflexible. I am addicted to selfawareness and self actualization. Its paralyzing, when you think about it too much. Everything Everyone says or does changes them or furthers their opinions already in place.

GAS STATION NOTE #4
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

The big question for each new culture generation: what defines you? where do you stand! isnt it more like: what do you reject? what do you hate? hippies hated opression, boomers hated "evil", Punks hated establishment/authority. Can a group of people have a definable culture NOT centred around rejecting something? Or is that apathy?

Everything I say or do changes who I am... AHHH

GAS STATION NOTE #3
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

Innocence, In a sense
is a nicer ignorance
Ignore reason, to Believe
Being alive, I conceive
Is all I need. I concede;
Some may see my spiteful language cowardly
but dont you see?
Its unnecessary. all this shit, these
promises, deals, hopelessly using fear.
lets be clear.
I do not swear, for the sake of Jeering.
Its just, "when you die, everything
Every thing will be alright, If you do
what I say"
Meanwhile, I sit and smile
I know your mind, and its sterile.

I have a few songs I love. Love love love to the point that I cant do much else than enjoy them when they are playing. I was scared I wouldnt have this feeling forever, so I stopped listening to them for a couple of months. Im listening to them again now. DOES absense make the heart grow fonder? I dunno. I do feel really good right now, though.