Detective collective are movin up! we are even playing a show and recording and stuff.

you know how sometimes a person gets a song stuck in their head all day?
well I had the theme from Full House in mine.
ARRGH!

It got me thinking though.

What sort of things can happen/a person can do in life that would be really really akward or wierd if the theme from Full House was playing?

haha. so yeah. Sort of wierd.

cant think of anything else to talk about that doesnt fit into these categories:

1) Really mundane and boring
2) Exciting for me but mundane and boring to most people
3) Overly Whiny, emotional, or love related.

Soo, Gnight.


OOh! ooh!
I learned a new song!

"Save Yourself"
By Tarkio.

Happy halloweeen!
The bonfire was nice.
So is having money and days off. Ahh...
Also, im in a band now (The Detective Collective) and its going well.
Yep.
seeya!

Hmm. Need to take a trip somewhere.
Vancouver!

Ill check concerts

Im devising a set of questions I can ask people to see if they are ignorant wastes of space.
Biased, arent I?

1) Deep fried Cigarettes: delicious or not?

When Im up on stage, what will I say just before I play?

I just dont fit in with these stylish indie kids.

There are people who dont get it, and wish they did.

There are people who dont get it, and dont know.

There are people who dont get it, and dont care.

There are people who get it.

Worst of all...

There are people who get it, and are elitists.

FUCK THE ELITISTS

Ive been putting a lot of videos on youtube lately.
you should watch them!

I even play guitar.

JUST got back.

more tired than I have ever been. Did a graveyard right after getting back.
ZZZ
AHHH!
lol.
seriously though...
great opener for the concert.
DIE MANNEQUIN...
GOOD FUCKIN PUNK!

FINALLY

Its my day off.

I have lots of days off now
:)

excited abotu artspeak tomorrow and teh concert on the following day, and Lorwyn drafts on the next one after that .

WHEEEE

I feel soo fluid.

Positive:
Im slowly learning about myself, and i love the independance I have now. I control my life!

Negative:
I feel like I cant trust anything or anyone for 100% sure. Its like walking on a waterbed.

+:
My house, my rules. AND im making money!

-:
Where did all my high school friends go?


Good:
I get to see sunrises and full moons.

Bad:
I sleep when everyone has the social time.


Yeah!:
I can finally practice guitar whenever I want!

BOO!:
and yet I havent much... damn atrophic freedom!

Love you.

Hey, tonight I am going to talk about the saddest thing in the whole world.

Just kidding! I have no idea how to fairly judge what is more sad and what is less sad. I haven't had a "good" (read: long) post for a while, so here goes.

umm


umm

umm


Memory.. is


arrgggh



ARRRGH!


Music ! ARRRGH!



blah!



ok, ill explain this. When I find a song I love it triggers my memories. Broken Social scene, for example, seeps me in memories of past love, one sided love, and wistfulness in general. I keep getting flashbacks to girls who at one point knew me, and we cared about each other. Then, cause the internet is good for creepy people like me, I get to randomly see these people's lives on Facebook, etc.

I just stare at the screen and I cant stop thinking about the past. I bet you could have guessed this, but I don't really function like a regular person when it comes to relationships. I never really "get over" someone I care about. Its always there, one way or another. I can still have new relationships, and they are just as awesome. But as time goes on, I get overwhelmed with all of them, all at once. Fucking memories! I am incapable of forgetting each and every time I made her care. Each and every time she told me I mattered. FUUUCK!
SHE can forget, and move on.
Why cant I?
I cant stop loving people? this is weird...

I met a crazy person the other day.
crazy people are amazing conversationalists!

I saw an amazing sunrise today.
I couldnt ignore it, even though I have seen many.

Ive heard the phrase

Live every day as if it was your last

But for me, life is more like

Live every day as if it was your first.

Miss you Tim.

Not sure what to say today, But i can sum it up real quick with a timeline...

5pm friday:
work till
10pm friday:
then go home for 1/2 an hour, and then go to
11pm friday:
work till
7AM saturday:
cab home
7:30AM sat:
sleep till
4:00AM Sat:
ONE FUCKING HOUR TO DO EVERYTHING UNTIL
5:00pm Sat:
Work till
10pm Sat:
Home again for 1/2 hr, then (you guessed it)
11pm sat:
work till
7AM Sat
(this goes on like this until 7 AM monday.)

So yeah. no time for anything, FUCK I WORK TOO MUCH!

Miss everyone!

ignore this one








im soo glad I got to talk to you today. Im still...
Arrgh

i cant control myself very well

I want you!

arrgh
but thats just that part of me, rambling.

I need sleep
I need YOU!
arrgh
but I need to do it right this time

careful
not scary
caring
not smothering
loving
not needy
funny
not offensive

could we ever be together? maybe? i dunno.
never say never
but no pressure on you
so, im not going to stress
at all
well, I will stress
but you wont know
or you wont be affected by it
cause I dont
want to scare you away
ARRGH

so i got a haircut right

and its short

shorter than that.

wayy short.

anyway, my new place is cool.
Its still very surreal.
Miss you all!

Moved IN!
its a nice place.
wanna see it?
Photos maybe later.
for now, tired ZZZzzzZZZ

PACKIN!
i move tomorrow.
!!
!!
!!
excting!!
so yeah, if I dont post for a while, internet issues. should be online and ok pretty soon after I move.
busy busy busy!

oh yeah, something deep and personal...


I have a long memory,
and a toubled past.

I have a gentle hand
and a distant heart.

I have a knowing smile
and a cautious glance.

I have memories of you
I have memories of you
I have memories of you.

You wanna get rich?
Quick?
Ill tell you how.

Be born rich.

If you cant to that, try and get the rich people richer. If you can, they will give you a little bit of their richness, and you will be rich too. Once you are rich, its easy. Money makes more money if you have plenty to start with.

it all seems so small now.

2 things in life make me feel like I should just spend my whole life doing one thing.

Love(romance)

and Love(Compassion)

...

Lately I question the first. When you take your blinders off, the whole world is on fire. We live in the most peaceful, isolated place right now, but that shouldnt be an excuse to pretend people arent dying for horrible reasons. I feel drawn to help. I dont know what to do, though.
Damn you National Geographic...
yeah right, like we can pretend to be ignorant to the wars and the violence anyway...

ok thats it, enough laziness. time for a BIG topic.

EVERYTHING!

Wayy back when, (think around 40-50 years) There were lots of things in place to stop people who felt creative from expressing themselves, and moreover getting their expression-stuff to people who dont realize they wanna find it. This meant that a small number of people actually did it (writers, artists, musicians). This used to be thought of as a filter process: that is, the most talented just happen to also be the most dedicated, and the most creatively inspiring, all at once. You were all three; or you were none. An easy way to separate the inspirers and the inspirees.
Turns out, we were wrong. Talent turned out to be based on enthusiasm, love, and a sense of spirituality with whatever inspires a "Talented" person to create, not some sort of built-in aspect. "Dedication" is an unfair term because wealthy people can spend more time "Dedicating" themselves to their creative craft; people born poor must spend more time making their lives possible (work, food, money-stress etc); not everyone CAN dedicate themselves, due only to their circumstances, not their own choice. Being creatively inspiring back then wasnt about how well your art/music was, it was about ADVERTISEMENT! If 1,000,000 people hear your song, you get 100,000 fans. (Holy shit! 100,000 people like me! Im Rich/Popular!) If 1000 people hear your song and you get 500 fans, was your music more inspiring? It wouldnt feel like it, but you affected HALF your audience, while someone with a media engine and money to burn gets a lot more people, even if only 10% of listeners like him/her. So, the famous/rich/"Best" artists are NOT more dedicated, more talented, or even more inspiring to their audience. This is the way things have been going for a long time.

Now, EVERYTHING Is changing.

The ratio of successful musicians to fans overall, averaged across the board, was at least 1:10,000.
This is due to the reasons I explained previously. Our definitions are changing, and the barriers are disappearing. "successful" to me, means happy enough with life to continue writing new material. Its a lot easier to be a successful musician today.

Its a snowball effect. First off, thanks to the Internet and general technology, more and more musicians can express whatever they want, whenever they want. "Getting it out there" is easier than ever. Shit, i mean, look at this blog, LOL. I type at home, and these words instantly become online forever, waiting patiently until the end of time for anyone to read them. I didnt pay anyone so that I can write this; It costs me next to nothing, and nobody tells me what to write. I am Independant, and I dont need anyone's help in the steps between Ideas forming in my head, and this blog'o'words filling up. Dont ever forget how mind blowing that seems to someone, like, 20 years ago. So, more musicians are online. Inevitably, people start listening to more and more different bands. Listening to these bands inspires people to be musicians. They then put their stuff online. Which is then found.

Look, its like this.

More MUSICIANS can express themselves cheaper and easier=more varied and unique IDEAS about every topic are available to the audience. More IDEAS=more INSPIRATION since fans have better odds of finding an IDEA that helps them feel self-actualized (inspired). More INSPIRATION=More kids wanting to start a Band to express Ideas, greater confidence in devoting life to INSPIRATION, and less fear of spending time/money on it. Less fear coupled with less time/money needed to express inspiration due to things like the Internet and technology, gives us more MUSICIANS.

MUSICIANS MAKE IDEAS,
IDEAS MAKE INSPIRATION,
INSPIRATION MAKES MUSICIANS.

Thats the snowball effect.

This leads to a question.

If more and more people are being drawn into creating music, what happens to the traditional role of Audience?

Suddenly that 1:10000 ratio I mentioned earlier looks more like 1:1.
Do you realize how fucking incredible that is?

Weird, sometimes I dont write because im paranoid about who reads this, and sometimes I dont write because im depressed that no one will. Fucked up, eh?

In order for me to love someone, I need them to love the art that I love. I dont like that about myself very much. If a girl doesnt "get" my music, thats ok, but if she doesnt ever want to try and understand what connects me to my music, what makes me love it soo much, then I lose feeling for her. Wierd.