I dreamt I was alone at home and feeling sad without knowing why. Then I saw Anita standing in this room filled with people. It was a wild and raucous party. Suddenly I was at the party. Nobody was talking with me, but I had a good time. I stood beside some old friends, listening to them speak with each other, sort of waiting for an opportunity to say hello, but also just enjoying hearing them share about their lives with each other. I slowly began to realize these were not my old friends, these were people who gave up on me. I could feel their discomfort once they realized I was there. I felt ashamed. I walked away, and fell down onto a couch. People yelled at me for falling down on the couch, initially. I stayed there for a while, and they forgot I was there. They sat on me or around me and I was blending in again. Then I noticed that directly in front of me, Zaman was playing electric guitar, and there were drums playing too, but I couldn't see who was playing drums. I really liked the song, so much that I started to cry. It was the song, and the feeling that someone I loved dearly was making something beautiful. Then he made eye contact with me and smiled, so I cried even more. The song rang in my ears constantly, then in the dream I eventually fell asleep feeling calm and happy and hopeful and mellow and purposeful and absurdly serene. Now it's 1015 AM in victoria, british columbia. I just frantically recorded what I could remember of what Zaman was playing (this is a melody I subconsciously wrote) and here I am writing down this dream. I want to let summer be a time of renewal for me.