GAS STATION NOTE #3
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

Innocence, In a sense
is a nicer ignorance
Ignore reason, to Believe
Being alive, I conceive
Is all I need. I concede;
Some may see my spiteful language cowardly
but dont you see?
Its unnecessary. all this shit, these
promises, deals, hopelessly using fear.
lets be clear.
I do not swear, for the sake of Jeering.
Its just, "when you die, everything
Every thing will be alright, If you do
what I say"
Meanwhile, I sit and smile
I know your mind, and its sterile.

I have a few songs I love. Love love love to the point that I cant do much else than enjoy them when they are playing. I was scared I wouldnt have this feeling forever, so I stopped listening to them for a couple of months. Im listening to them again now. DOES absense make the heart grow fonder? I dunno. I do feel really good right now, though.

GAS STATION NOTE #2
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

Roll, Roll, Roll.
I gotta keep Rolling
If, one day, things get better, Ill keep those promises.

Roll, Roll, Roll,
Rolling away

If I could summarize
all of it
Theres soo fucking much



Itch, always hinting
hinting at something
Itch, you make me Roll.

Rolling cause its not enough
Rolling as if I had a destination
DESTINY, what can it be
Destined to itch for my
Destination, which doesnt exist.

Its like im at that part of the movie where the hero realizes what he needs to do to fix everything, and theres dramatic music playing, maybe a montage of some kind. I feel like that.

GAS STATION NOTE #1
(these are notes I wrote on little pieces of paper when I was bored at work. I worked graveyards, so I was bored a lot. Lots of time to think.)

I want you
to be curious about me
I dont think I can do it

Conventionally

I love smoked salmon
Im online too much
I love taking pictures

SWM
got time for me
WTF
If you're free, I'm free.

If you like
you can obsess
every little detail,
Ill selfishly confess
I think out loud
that line was Meta

I think im witty
WTF
do you follow me

Heh Heh heh
nevermind...

Keyboard tells me what I can and cant say. I cant scream into a keyboard and get the same effect on the screen. I cant! Arrgh. words are only part of what I think, feel and say. Im fucking pissed off

Leaving for nine months... january 9th. Arrgh! I cant wait, but im scared. Im only working for spending money right now, rent for DEC is paid up. I keep thinking of song ideas. Saw Magical Mystery Tour last night, its TRIPPY!
anyway, see you, foxy lady.

Fun fact:
I get overstimulated REALLY easily.

Just saw a movie.

Dan in Real Life

Its really good. It made me want to scream. when I get overstimulated, I want to like flail around and scream and freak out. its totally wierd. Ill get in these moods that are totally out of place and wierd. In my head it makes sense; like I realize something awesome that I didnt know, some sort of self-actualizating thoughts, and I grin as hard as I can, and I stifle a scream. it sounds like "eeeee!" when I stifle a sceam, by the way. God, it happens soo much, its like just below the surface I want to explode! some day I will write a song designed to release this energy. Woe to the listeners.

Tomorrow, Today

All

Love

IF

WHEN!


its a thing that you can see but if you care then no.

Under the everywhere dont check the closet; its hiding... its hiding...

Besnard Lakes- Agent 13

BARR- Context ender

LIFE!

NO!

MAYBE!!

QUEBEC!

FRENCH!


WORK

WROKW
WOKR
WOKRWOKROWKORWKOK

Euphoria!

Euphoria!

MASSES! LISTEN! EUPHORIA!

Crazy Love.
EUPHORIA!

Hopeless.

HOPELESS EUPHORIA!

YEAH!
:)

...

Fifty three.
maybe never, maybe always.

Today, If you want, I can make you feel amazing. Better than ever, in a fulfilling, self actualizing way.

http://myspace.com/barrbarr

Click "Context Ender"

I keep thinking blog-worthy thoughts at work only to find they are gone when I get home. Its like different places "store" my thoughts. I guess thats what a memory is though. Wierd... I could have sworn I read an article about this at work the other night...
:P

Detective collective are movin up! we are even playing a show and recording and stuff.

you know how sometimes a person gets a song stuck in their head all day?
well I had the theme from Full House in mine.
ARRGH!

It got me thinking though.

What sort of things can happen/a person can do in life that would be really really akward or wierd if the theme from Full House was playing?

haha. so yeah. Sort of wierd.

cant think of anything else to talk about that doesnt fit into these categories:

1) Really mundane and boring
2) Exciting for me but mundane and boring to most people
3) Overly Whiny, emotional, or love related.

Soo, Gnight.


OOh! ooh!
I learned a new song!

"Save Yourself"
By Tarkio.

Happy halloweeen!
The bonfire was nice.
So is having money and days off. Ahh...
Also, im in a band now (The Detective Collective) and its going well.
Yep.
seeya!

Hmm. Need to take a trip somewhere.
Vancouver!

Ill check concerts

Im devising a set of questions I can ask people to see if they are ignorant wastes of space.
Biased, arent I?

1) Deep fried Cigarettes: delicious or not?

When Im up on stage, what will I say just before I play?

I just dont fit in with these stylish indie kids.

There are people who dont get it, and wish they did.

There are people who dont get it, and dont know.

There are people who dont get it, and dont care.

There are people who get it.

Worst of all...

There are people who get it, and are elitists.

FUCK THE ELITISTS

Ive been putting a lot of videos on youtube lately.
you should watch them!

I even play guitar.

JUST got back.

more tired than I have ever been. Did a graveyard right after getting back.
ZZZ
AHHH!
lol.
seriously though...
great opener for the concert.
DIE MANNEQUIN...
GOOD FUCKIN PUNK!

FINALLY

Its my day off.

I have lots of days off now
:)

excited abotu artspeak tomorrow and teh concert on the following day, and Lorwyn drafts on the next one after that .

WHEEEE

I feel soo fluid.

Positive:
Im slowly learning about myself, and i love the independance I have now. I control my life!

Negative:
I feel like I cant trust anything or anyone for 100% sure. Its like walking on a waterbed.

+:
My house, my rules. AND im making money!

-:
Where did all my high school friends go?


Good:
I get to see sunrises and full moons.

Bad:
I sleep when everyone has the social time.


Yeah!:
I can finally practice guitar whenever I want!

BOO!:
and yet I havent much... damn atrophic freedom!

Love you.

Hey, tonight I am going to talk about the saddest thing in the whole world.

Just kidding! I have no idea how to fairly judge what is more sad and what is less sad. I haven't had a "good" (read: long) post for a while, so here goes.

umm


umm

umm


Memory.. is


arrgggh



ARRRGH!


Music ! ARRRGH!



blah!



ok, ill explain this. When I find a song I love it triggers my memories. Broken Social scene, for example, seeps me in memories of past love, one sided love, and wistfulness in general. I keep getting flashbacks to girls who at one point knew me, and we cared about each other. Then, cause the internet is good for creepy people like me, I get to randomly see these people's lives on Facebook, etc.

I just stare at the screen and I cant stop thinking about the past. I bet you could have guessed this, but I don't really function like a regular person when it comes to relationships. I never really "get over" someone I care about. Its always there, one way or another. I can still have new relationships, and they are just as awesome. But as time goes on, I get overwhelmed with all of them, all at once. Fucking memories! I am incapable of forgetting each and every time I made her care. Each and every time she told me I mattered. FUUUCK!
SHE can forget, and move on.
Why cant I?
I cant stop loving people? this is weird...