this makes me happy
its a restuarant where people pay whatever they want to
and those who cant pay anything are encouraged to volunteer for them for a while
but they dont have to
people with money and those without eat together
and they are actually making enough money from this to cover costs
puts faith in humanity
and it doesn segregate the poor from those who have money
hmm....
just seems like a neat idea
the collectivization of farming would make this an ever-present possibility
yeah
its only a small scale model
but man
its working!
but freedom like that can only come from chains
its no revolution, but its somehting
it's interesting yeah
and it makes people think when they hear about it
and that is enough
id like to have more of them
tonigstrange nightht is a
tonight is a strange night
I just got a DNA test back confirming who my father is
he wanted me to call him,
but its too late, he is sleeping.
ive never met him, but we exchanged email recently
i dont think ill sleep tonight
that would make for a strange night, you're right
i don't envy that sleeplessness
actually its a nice feeling.
sort of excited
plus I tried MDMA (dont worry, it was pure) about 36 hours ago, and im just coming off it.
have you ever tried it? its a strange feeling. its the only substance ive tried where you are still lucid and in complete control of your mind and body.
yeah, i do drugs of that sort frequently
ecstasy has an easier comedown because of the speed
mdma is a diving board
mm. I dont know if I would be a regular, but I could see having 200mg over the course of a day once in a while, if I plan it out.
i don't mean regular
mmhmm
for me it would probably be every 1-2 months or so, probably closer to 2 months
i do whatever is there
there's no harm in it if you're not an idiot
the key is
do not think about it so much
from a health perspective, its harmless to do it infrequently. even safer than alcahol, I think. I could see a mental dependance.
drugs are not religion
thinking is religion
drugs are not thought
mhhm
drugs can be a conduit , a lens for thought
but shouldnt be used to repress
don't flop around in some lousy youthful diatribe pond before you have a chance to feel the river fella
i mean
don't go into anything with pretense
fair enough. if we all question ourselves often enough, hopefully pretense can be avoided.
but really question.
you might as well walk into the ocean right now if you're going to approach anything with anything like that as your sidearm
mmhmm!
man, assumption of having some kind of superior or deeper understanding of something, of belonging to an enlightnened group
thats a hard feeling to get rid of when you feel like you are more open
but in a way it closes you
its kind of sad
I think that was an impression I got from teh chrome horse at one point.. i remember talking with erin about it
hmm
its really hard to be accepting when you think you are already accepting
if your actions reject people who you precieve as not worthy of acceptance, maybe because they are seen as not accepting themselves
loving those who dont love, tolerating the ones who wont tolerate
let me tell you something
well, your little group of friends was what destroyed the chrome horse
let me tell you something
not because you are better, but because no one is.
wow!
you.guys.thought.you.owned.the.
that is a lot of credit.
i'm not "crediting" anybody
I agree that its possible that its true that we did that.
do you agree its possible that we didnt?
cause if we arent coming from that kind of view, I dont see this as a discussion.
although to be honest ive never seen it that way, so if your view helps me get a better picture of what happened, im glad you are taking the time to let me know
instead of dehumanising me and not talking to me directly as a way to vent
you already have my respect, is what im saying
no
don't talk about dehumanising for sure though
anyway
it's a pointless matter cuz it's done with
i dont think so.
no
I think I could learn from it.
i mean if I contributed directly to something as awesome as the chrome horse being fucked over, id like to not ever do it again.
do you think we had respect for you guys?
yeah, it happened
donezo
no
do you think we admired you guys?
probably
3:55amJesse
ok, so the intention was there, but the actions didnt work.
do you think you guys were welcoming to us?
no
ok, well fuck cliques and fuck you is my first emotional response
but i mean something different
when i make it logical
music is beautiful. and we all feel that
haha
the ability to express anything in a way that works better than words on paper is awesome
if you said that, it would be hilarious
semantics
but i know cheesy right
yes
anyway, we didnt really come there to win a fucking battle of the bands. we came there cause we had nowhere to play in parksville, we were a new band, and we were excited to play some music.
stuck up kids popping in to play a few songs and tell us to get off the stage and shittalk us for being drunks in our own HOUSE basically
will not be taken too well
hahahaha
who was stuck up?
humanize those you disagree with!
we were all stuck up from someone elses point of view man
DONT tell me to fucking humanize ANYBODY
I dont personally think anyone was really stuck up, but I could make an argument for anyone.
I can and I will
you are fucking ridiculous
get some EXPERIENCE
the day you are fucking crawling with hunger and begging for a cigarette is the day you can talk about humanizing
hmm.
can I tell you a story?
I grew up in nanaimo, mom on heroin until I was 12. I walked door to door asking for bottles for some school thing, then used the money to buy food for my 2 siblings.
I spend 12-18 in foster care, then moved back with said mom
then she got pregnant again and the dad fucked off.
shes a guilt ridden shell of a person
and I just met my father tonight.
assuming I dont have any experiences isnt fair and YOU KNOW IT. let your mental image of me change if the facts change you arrogant man.
everyone has shit
some shit is bigger some is smaller
i dont go around bragging about my fucked up life
i'm guessing it's going to be about some horrible starving experience or something now
good christ
and I dont use it as a weapon to tell people how little they know.
listen
we're all nailed to some cross
i'm not saying MINE is any worse than YOURS or YOURS is any worse than MINE
i never said a fucking word of that
i'm saying "humanizing" anything is ridiculous
you just did.
you implied I had no experience.
im calling you on that.
fuck, that is from this fucked up chat lag shit
fuck, that is from this fucked up chat lag shit
i'm guessing it's going to be about some horrible starving experience or something now
you are fucking ridiculous
get some EXPERIENCE
the day you are fucking crawling with hunger and begging for a cigarette is the day you can talk about humanizing
i never said I had any, for christ's sake
thats what you said, right?
yes
i never said i did any of that, right?
OOHAEG"{APIEghQE{goih
AQvojIH[puehgW[RGAW3
AWPOUHPUHWRw
thats what pisses me off about the stereotype of a certian group of kids. its so much easier to break other peoples ideas than come up with better ones.
gpoiuhvpuihSpuhSpb
anyway, I can tell you that most of the kids at the chrome horse from parksville are pretty stuck up
yes
most of them were really young and from middle class parents and didnt know shit
maybe I was an exception but whatever
a few of them were just nice positive accepting people who never judged you or anyone else. but because they were young and akward and had middle class parents, they were seen as stuck up before they even said anything
and I guess I feel bad for those kids
cause judging goes both ways
to be honest I wish all our friends didnt come to the show. I wish we could just play for you guys. It probably could have been worked out then
but they (our firends) didnt know what they were getting into, and they came and felt akward which just made the whole room hostile
add to that they were all voting for us
and it was just a fucking shitstorm
I didnt like that eiether
it just didnt feel right
but man. I looked at you guys, and you had a thing going and it seemed like it was about ideas and music and being open with people who were open with you
and I liked that and I wanted to help and share
but it didnt work like that
and I guess im just really sorry.
I dont really know what ruined the chrome horse, but I know that night didnt help, and it probably triggered a bunch of shit
and im sorry
and im sorry
and im sorry.
yeah, it's fine, i don't mind
but man, this fucking hipster shit is poison you know?
ive seen it over in ontario too
you get people who are nice and open and just really like making music real again by peeling back bullshit
but the fucking kids dress like them and you cant tell the real ones from the fake ones
and the bullshit just piles back on
and its got a different style but its the same shit, you know
its like those fucking hot topic stores
you buy a shirt that says fuck FOXNEWS and you buy it at hot topic and the company that owns them makes a deal and that shirt you wear is money in FOXNEWS's pocket and they are laughing at you
but you feel like you are doing something but you arent.
and they are just laughing at you.
does any of this make any sense?
it is the most basic logic driving modern youth subservience
yeah.
man, what if the movement was just two words
like, QUESTION EVERYTHING
could that get fucked up and sold out?
obviously it already is
i dont know
resignation is the key to action
I dont think weve had a movement where all it was was QUESTION EVERYTHING
you get these barnacles of other shit
and it gets lost
modern action
modern action
stop trying to fight the impossible colossus
but if it was just those two words
QUESTION EVERYTHING
and work within it
it's much funnier
I dont think anything is more sacred than QUESTION EVERYTHING
yeah that's trite
that is definitely used up
cause its telling you never to find anything sacred,
not even apathy
not even not caring
nothing is safe from QUESTION EVERYTHING
as long as your ability to question things is limitless, what can stop your mind?
despair maybe
maybe not caring.
but why not care?
what do you mean
your cells want to live, so they care.
it's not about not caring
your lungs move, so they care
existence proves that everything is trying
it's about the impossibility of effect unless massed together against something realistic, IE 2010 or the WTO riots in seattle
so when you dont try, you dont really live.
jesus christ
hahah
you are impossible to reason with
but who gets do define that word!
realistic
not everything is hummingbirds fucking chinapaper flowers in the yard
You are right there
I just cant figure out what real change is
and whether or not a riot thats big enough is the answer
I dont have any idea what needs to happen or what will or wont work
and if you have an idea, spread it
and thats a good thing
okay, listen
all im saying is when people question everything, when people try and acheive something, its proof that people are alive.
i can prove i'm alive by taking a piss off a balcony
I dont really give a fuck if we are run by 12 rich white men
what I care about is if people still try and think for themselves.
or at least know that thinking for yourself is even possible
well allow them to
stop making attempts to push it like this
if one person is still doing that, than no worries
hahaha
this is embarassing
but if what im pushing is THINK FOR YOURSELF
how is it pushing at all
let people figure that out
im scared they wont
im scared society is making it harder to realize that you need to think for yourself
"think for yourself" has been pushed for 20000 years
it's fine
let it run
im scared that if you grow up never being exposed to certain ideas and people, you will think you dont have to.
and that complacency is the source of a lot of fucked up shit
maybe, i dont really know
Im an asshole and a condescending douchebag about it, but im talking to you because I want to learn from you
I dont know how to say it without coming off as an asshole
i'm telling you
TRYING to tell you
that in my "EXPERIENCE"
RESIGNATION is the ultimate cardinal projection of something other than attempted subservience
stop fighting something that exists in every single person
and realize that it is happening
you will never change a hong kong crosswalk
but it does change...
I dont change it myself
but it does change
and how and why
and do I affect that
it's gonna happen no matter what
no matter the size of the riot
no matter how many kids shop at some mall
whats going to happen?
no matter how many people beat off into a penman's sports sock and cry about individuality
we are all living in a strange place
it's gonna happen no matter what
whats going to happen?
and if you think you can change it
what is going to happen?
you're not thinking for yourself
you're TRYING to think for everyone else
one more time,
what is going to happen?
THE SHIT
what shit?
THE SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN
you mean, regardless of what people do, their actions will always lead to things happening?
oil companies! t-shirts! smiling idiots! hypnotism on a global scale!
this chat thing is lagging
time to sleep
no
and that no matter what people do, it causes action, so even if it seems like you affect it, you are helpess because things cant not happen?
i will explain this maybe some other time
hey wait
before you go
im glad you gave me your time. people die and time is a currency and people only hacve so much and for whatever reason i have some of yours now. thank you
