I am taking Digital Media Studies and Political Science in September. Ideally I would love to somehow let my school work overlap with my band stuff! This month im in limbo, im just trying not to spend too much money before my loans and grants come in september.

Had a good day today! Im sort of feeling out the rhythm of nanaimo life. I think... I think I need internet in my house, or a phone. One or the other. Wrote another song :)

I want to learn to be

and to reach out




I want to be a clean place for beauty to visit.

I want to declutter my soul so there is room to worship moments, moments like this one and that one, and this one had music and that one had a kiss and maybe one was just lying on the grass looking up.


I like the purity and unity of sublime understanding your beauty gives me!
I want to let my actions reflect it. I want to do how I feel. I want the me I feel like when I am totally compelled in a beautiful and pure direction to be the me you see!

And I spent 80$ in the bar

and was it worth it? and... I dont think 8-$ goes very far these days. I can't remember if the bar ever existed- my memory of it is as nostalgic and wistful as a dream.

Bars are strange places. A place designated for breathing out.

IN a dream, you soak it all in. Enjoy it. Your desires, hopes, ideas, imagined futures etc. You breathe it all in. You are full.

Then I (you?) wake up. The world tells you what can and can't happen. So you hold your breath, you take it, you endure. your dreams aren't real, and the oxygen is slowly fading out of the air in your lungs.

Then finally- finally! You go somewhere to breathe out. Loud music. Laughing people, a relaxed social code where obnoxiousness, loud, sweeping gestures and unrepentant expression of selfish yet sincere emotion bursts forth.

A crowd of people all breathe out on to each other. Sloppy and happily crashing into each other. Your shit becomes my shit, everything feels like its in a movie, meaning is found. And it took 80$ worth of alcohol. It really shouldn't require 80$. But thats how it goes.

Im sorry for dragging you down, baby.

Im sorry for mocking your sincere feelings.

Im sorry I cant keep a straight face when you tell me about how My Chemical Romance made you cry.

Im sorry im such a judgemental asshole.

I feel like my things are worth caring about and your things arent.

Ive got a list of reasons why yours arent and my are, you know.

its a very nice list!

But you tell me you feel it, and your eyes say it too.

So im sorry, baby, but I dont know what to do.

Why I like to meet new people

Hi, nice to meet you! I dont know anything about you! Oh look, you said something! What you said doesnt have the context of knowing everything about you, so what you said could be seen from whatever perspective I feel like using. So... ill just take everything you say make up the context. And my made up context? Well wouldnt you know it, it says you are perfect! it says you are everything I like and nothing I dont! It says you've been thinking about everything ive been thinking about lately, and you really wanna talk about it. It says that before you met me you really just wish someone who looks exactly like me had walked up to you and told you about their life, and asked you to be there for me... er... I mean him.