Alright so what next?
Get a job!!!!

also...

hmm. some small changes. my comp is in my room now. Its nice. Im still in a band. we still play shows. some commitment is nice sometimes. Hmm.

Without limitations
Without desire
Without understanding

I don't understand the desire to live without limitations. But there really aren't many. So we are responsible for how we feel. Assert, but don't hurt. Right? I don't know. Who chooses which is meaningful? How does popular opinion measure against one person who touches you personally?

And what about not liking something? What happens when you think something is useless, pointless, annoying, stupid? What do you do when you are sick of something? How does being yourself stack up against treating people well? Master your own mind and you will be free.

I wish I could control what my mind has to deal with. Sounds, words, things you see- you don't control them, so they can hurt you. offend you. annoy you. make you angry, confused. Angry mostly, for me.

I dont know...

Man its not easy, and im a little surprised I thought it would be. I cant really tell much right now, but I know i am stressed and angry and hurt and sad and scared. but right this instant, I feel like im accomplishing something worthwhile. More info as I figger out what the hell is going on