why do you get so attracted to what I say?
so what if it feels real.
you say you like penetrating,
but why dont you go penetrate someone else?
you like someone else being real AT you. you like reacting to that. THAT feels nice.
but when you are alone, do you do something with it?
do you take it and use it and bring it somewhere new?
no?
Coward!

once upon a time there was a man who was a boy but is not a man.

once upon a time the man had a face!

the face had eyes, and the eyes made him see you.

the face had eyebrows, and the eyebrows tingled his feeling-brain when they moved in response to his eyes.

The face had little strings that got pulled when he felt things.

Happy/Sad pulled some strings connected to muscles in his face, and his face showed whatever the feeling-brain was feeling-thinking.

Most of the time, his face looked like he was wondering, and a little sad.

So when his eyes made him see you, you probably thought he was wondering, and a little sad.

What was he wondering about?

Memories like what if this time it happened like this and what if this time it happened like another time and what if this part was related to this part and what if that part was actually that part and what do you see when you see me?

I guess he was experiencing everything at once, but thats not really very illuminating.
And was he sad when he looked "a little sad?"

I dont fucking know. I cant tell what wondering feels like. It doesnt feel happy, and it doesnt feel sad. It feels... like being struck by lightning, with no pain. it fills him with energy, it makes him want to scream. not a happy/sad/angry scream, just a really really loud scream.

enough of that.