So pretty early on in my life I realized that I shouldn't expect everyone else to do what I think they should do. In general believing in your perception of what is right for people strongly enough to override their perception of what is right for themselves will get you into a lot of trouble, and it almost always doesn't work, either cause you in fact didn't have the right answer, or because even if you did, the act of telling them you do does more harm than good.

So to sum that up, try not to hold people accountable to your personal values to heavily, as theirs may be different, and they have a right to have different values.

But here's where things get tricky...

What about their stated values? What happens when someone tells you they will do something, and they don't? What happens when someone can't be held accountable to their own professed values or actions?

I suppose ideally I could accept people for whoever they are, even if who they say they are doesn't line up with what they do. I've always had a hard time with this. I have a hard time forgiving people for not taking responsibility for their own actions, especially when the responsibility is simply admitting that by their own stated values they made a mistake. I also want to get better at forgiving once they have admitted their mistake of course, but I at least CAN do that. Accepting people who lie, cheat, or steal, is something I've always struggled with.

why face your fears when describing how hard it is to face them is so useful?

an uncomfortable truth revealed and resolved is much less interesting to read on paper than someone writing about how uncomfortable and unresolved they feel.

Consider this: What makes you sure that what im writing right now isnt some kind of poem? Or, if you werent sure, what makes it less poetic-sounding than, say, wordsworth?

Ambiguity sells. And its a great way to enthrall, inspire, and experience a feeling without the negativity that comes with facing the complexity.

Trouble is, life is more complicated than any allusion to an experience found in books, movies, music, poetry. Before you ever figure out what situation A meant, youve already had situations B-Z fly by.

So make an educated guess, and maybe thats enough. But what does "educated" mean? To me, it means instead of hiding from something that bothers you, hoping you forget about it, you bite your lip, look it right in the eye, and dare yourself to overcome.

Because in my modest time, i've learned that lying to yourself is a waste of time. If you dont live up to your values, change your lifestyle, or change your values.

And remember, you will be able to tell if you cheated.