ive got so many questions

like

why did you stop talking to me when I stopped talking to you?

didnt you know that I only stopped initiating the conversation because I wanted YOU to come to ME?

and what does it mean that you wouldnt come to me if I stopped coming to you?

where does motivation come from? what affects it? what kind of people motivate me?

what kind of people take away my motivation? which kind am I to you?

where do moods come from? why do bad moods come at the least convienient times?

why am I happy when being sad makes more sense?

why am I sad when being happy would make things go so much more smoothly?

why arent I more productive?

why am I capable of imagining intense, dramatic, nervous energy-creating experiences?